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is it done too late?   
01:56pm 07/04/2007
mood: anxious
Thank you all of you for your kind and unexpected words.    I have no internet.   I am limited to the kindness of friends, cafes, and in this case libraries.        And this is the kid's library room so if having a slightly stroked out hand isn't enough work to make of me.....this child size keyboard is seriously trying my famously short fuse.

Infamously?  Notoriously?    Those who have actually lived with me or know me well in person can back this up...I  am my father's child.

Yesterday I broke my nose and my ankle.    The doctor told me that they could fix my  nose back the way it was or that I could "take advantage"  of the situation and ask for a "Reese WItherspoon."   It took all my strength to refrain from telling him to copulate with my vacant Steve Madden shoe.

Ah yes the blue collar aristocrat.     I like my slightly ethnic original nose.   And the only Reese movie worth seeing is Freeway.   Everybody gets fucked up and boring when they become too famous.   Poor Angie Voight, for example.    Now that she's Angelina Jolie, she's turning into some kind of weird Save The World Mia Farrow and I have to say I liked her when she was frenching her brother and wearing her husband's blood on a chain.

But then again, she's still a brilliant actress.....

Why the hell do people tell me that I look like ROSE McGOWAN after they hear my name.   I never heard that in my whole maiden name life.   I served her when I worked at House of Blues and she and Janeane Garafalo, who I also allegedly look like, are two of the worst bar customers you could hope or not hope to endure.   I'm glad that kid from Canton married Dita Von Teese instead....that Marilyn Manson kid.   He and Alanis aren't in my CD drive not really my thing but read an interview with either of them if you get a chance to, they are incredibly insightful and brilliantly observant.

I am not retired.    I am having problems playing my old songs because the right side of my body is still fucked up.   I wasn't walking with a cane anymore the past few months but now am again because of the broken ankle which of couse ended up on the stroke side.

In other news.....'

Regina Spektor got a deal with Sire records.   If you do not have any of her stuff, you are sorely missing out.      She is not only a genuinely nice human being but her music kicks ass and is very non commercial to be on a major label.    That's a compliment.

ALso, http://www.gabakulka.com     absolutely LOVE her new record.   "Out:"   it's not prejudiced just because we are both Polish.  She fucking kicks ass and as many a virgo (Elvis Costello, Fiona Apple, virgo cusp Ani DiFranco) is a cut throat kickass lyricist.    Go to CDBABY and read and listen and buy.

I am writing again.   Stuff for other intruments.    I dont know if you knew I was due to put out an album in 2002/3 before one ovary got all cancerass on me, but I was.   I may release that as an EP.    ALready recorded way back.  Meantime I'm playing around with oboes and banjoes, and Trombones.....as well as the trusty but unravished piano in my dining room.      And Clark, I didn't ruin your life .....I want you to have a beautiful life.     I miss you and making you laugh......and I'm sorry I hurt you.

But things were going down the toilet already there and I made an intrusive courtesy flush I can't take back and I regret the way I handled that.

This isn't the place to expound but since you commented there, I had to address it.   

Yesterday, my dad said to me "if you didn't have bad luck you'd have no luck at all" and that is true.      Haha.  The car accident on the morning after St Pat's day and then ....l.forget...oh the other ovary having it's fit that put me in the hospital, now this broken nose that looks like I have a bad boyfriend instead of an icy set of porchsteps and ADHD collies.

Thank you for waiting for me.   And not forgetting me.   And the poem hurt me in a good way, like a tattoo.   Thank you for that.

And Lonn, thanks for the ukelele.      I can play it even if i can't spell it.

If Tori Amos has her "ears with feet" guys, I have a "psychological sports bra" at least.

Thanks for that support.   You have no ideal.l....I am so glad I found the thrift store bowl i burn sage in which had the password to this LJ account on the bottom because I've been dying to reply to this for months.


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12:34am 10/01/2006
  Things have been really....interesting. The kind of things that make you stronger in the end, I'd like to think. Right now the lastest installment is finding out that not only do I have madcrazy epilepsy, I also had a stroke. And I miss music. So...consider this a timid step forward maybe there are albums I haven't made yet that are meant to be? I don't know.

News to come up soon. More specific. If you are indeed fans and friends of the music, the whole McMe... please leave me a comment or let me know what's on YOUR minds.
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10:08pm 09/02/2004
mood: cold
Hey, world. I've been doing the winter hiding thing, writing very much, recording little that isn't into my karaoke machine or little sears tape recorder from childhood.

I wanted to thank the people who found this little neglected journal and say sweet things to me and about my work. That actually means a lot. If I didn't think **someone** would connect somehow with it I would ONLY do music in my living room.

I am working on a collaboration with BABY DEE and I will actually be promoting that in Europe this fall, God willing.

I have also cut my hair to the same length of the Samantha Morton character in the movie IN AMERICA. I have had seven people this week tell me that. It wasn't planned "make me look like the mom in this movie" it just happened but she has MUCH better legs than I do.
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08:35pm 11/11/2003
mood: awake
i've made two communities for musician friends of mine.
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Everyone, enjoy Chloe   
09:00pm 10/11/2003
mood: sore
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Goodbye Weary Troubador   
05:42pm 09/11/2003
  The show on the 24th went well, I thank those who showed up. It was fun as hell to add Derek to sngs, and he gave new life to some of my older material. Still much to be done. But wanted to check in and say hi.

The passing of Elliott Smith is still screwing with me hardcore. A week before he died I remarked to someone in the car that I felt lucky be alive at the same time as Smith, because his work hit a nerve that had previously only been hit by Nick Drake, Janis, Buckley, etc people who were dead before I met them.

And I made up a little daydream about Elliott Smith showing up on a shitty snowy Tuesday night at the Beachland Tavern, and playing a slow solo set. And me being able to say "hey thanks for saying that one thing r another better than I could. Thanks for saying it better."

And so have to say goodbye. When really I just wanted a chance to say "hi."
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07:37pm 07/10/2003
  I have created a community at:


It is an astrology community, not a music one.

Today is Alessandro from Adopt-A-Band's birthday. Send him a greeting at


and tell him that you love his site and he should not **EVER** stop running it. And HAPPY BIRTHDAY, of course.

Fuck the RIAA. Sharing music rules!!!
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Rude Awakenings   
09:20am 12/09/2003
  Both Johnny Cash and John Ritter died? Oh my GOD. I wanted so badly to meet Mr. Cash. I read all the time how flattered he was that his HURT video was up for MTV awards. And even though he's not my cup of tea, I need to refer to Justin Timberlake's beating Cash because Justin said "I demand a recount. This is a travesty."

Wow. Too many people who touched and influenced me along the way dying.

your heroes for ghosts

And John Ritter. He reminded me just enough of my uncle who died in 1999 that for some reason I was always afraid he would go. Soon. His lifelines were short.

I wonder if they ran into each other up there, Ritter and Cash, and said "wait. you're not supposed to be here if I am where I think I am?"

Godspeed, gentlemen. Thank you for sharing your gifts.
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the superconscious   
12:56pm 08/09/2003
  The week after we recorded a certain cover for the next album, someone else did a guy and guitar version of it on a soundtrack.

Did anyone else ever notice how things like that happen all over the world at different places and similar times?
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Dream 05 sep 03   
06:37pm 05/09/2003
  Today I dreamed my husband arrested me for impersonating Cat Power. I've only heard her version of the Stones SATISFACTION but in the dream, she was suing me. He was her lawyer. We both put out albums with 9 songs that had the same names, only hers was called GET MEDICINE and my album was called SEXED DAVE GROHL.

Oh, I don't eat before bed, either!
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06:57pm 01/09/2003
mood: peaceful
There is a time for doing and a time for just being. That said, I realize that I need to totally let myself off the hook for needing to just be right now. It’s when I stop trying to make, to do, to BE, that things come. Music. Words. Communication. Messages someone else may want/need to receive.

Reading a book about what motivates you. You. Me. Whoever. And I’ve realized something interesting. Could be upbringing, could maybe be something that’s an entirely different thing entirely.

I have an ugly competitive streak in me. Not constantly But it does more to get me off my ass and out there to have someone say “So and so has such a great album. She’s sooooo sweet. You suck you never do anything, lady, this cancer ovary bullshit is old.” Like, that would be a better motivation tool for me than “I love your live shows please do one.”

Not a constant. Because I have friends who do similar things to what I do. And they are fine, I feel no need to compete with them. And there are thousands of strangers who do similar things some known, some not so known and that too I feel no need to compete.

Give people what they ask for? I can find a couple pictures where I don’t look huge or angry and I can write some pretty sparse arpeggio filled piano tunes and sit there looking forever 19 and waifishly wearing gossamer wings. But I just realized today while watching the 4th episode in a row of BOY MEETS BOY (don’t watch it, it’s addictive) that there is a form of selling out indie style too. That selling out just means you are making art because someone else wants it that way.

And art of any kind if its real can’t be dictated, it can’t always be liked by everyone, because art is subjective. I keep thinking of Frida Kahlo being commissioned to paint a tribute to the socialite Dorothy Hale because she had committed suicide. Instead of a stately portrait, she did this:


I guess I’m just making a journal note to myself that it is okay to make art not everyone is gonna like. That it is okay to not be tiny, precious, darling, or poking your stems out of a mess o tulle.

And well, I guess that’s okay. Time to make dinner. And just be.
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01:26am 15/07/2003
  Hi all. Boy, I have sucked at updatin. Let me date myself by saying my new practice space is both groovy and pimpin'. Tonight is the first night that I have wanted to go play and work on new material for awhile. Fuck you cancer. You can have my ovary but you're not getting my art.

In the meantime, the freebie CDs are sitting here in my office waiting for a donation i.e. my last unemployment check from a real job etc so that I can pay the postage but be assured of this, if you asked for one you shall get it. Before my next birthday!
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08:23am 18/06/2003
  The misprinted I CAN SEE YOUR HOUSE FROM HERE samplers have all found homes. Look for the correctly printed ones for sale soon on my website. Meantime, thank you for sparing me the indignity of having to throw these babies out.

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03:35am 17/06/2003
  Subject title a mangling of the great Terami Hirsch's GIRL WITH THE BRAIN.

Oh no. I am the girl who temporarily misplaced her brain. I had a sampler out called I CAN SEE YOUR HOUSE FROM HERE which was to be sold on my website.

However, I FORGOT THE TITLE TRACK. So the first fifty people who email me requesting a copy will be welcome to the duds sans title track and my silly apologies.

Pass it on.

If you WANT to send donations of cash to cover postage, much appreciate but this is not the Full Monty so to speak so I'm certainly not charging for disk itself.

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11:57am 14/06/2003
  That lamp was PURPLE. It was for my "BOYFRIEND".

The burger effect didn't take place till I was home, hotshot.
09:49am 14/06/2003
  I want to apologize for anyone who came to the Phantasy to see me play yesterday. At least there were really good bands there too. I ate a burger that didn't care to be any part of me. And it made that known within an hour, and I spent the night being Elisabeth Hurl-ey much to my own disappointment. I'm sorry.  
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Important Site Update   
12:29am 06/06/2003
mood: contemplative
I've been doing some soul searching, and decided that even though overall I try to dissassociate myself with Tori Amos related things on account of the hate mail and what not that some people feel the petty need to put out in the universe, this was different because this was personal.

so I put this link up. because it is important. because it might help someone get help, and if it helps just one person, it will be worth whatever influx of crap mail it may inspire.


the one that says "unlock the silence"

for years i made it nobody's business. and it isn't really now, but you know, i've dealt with this horrible thing for half my life, and doing this with the thought it might help someone else trapped in silence makes it worth whatever else i may have to face for my honesty.

i am not a poster girl and this is not a pretty poster. this is not me in gauzy wings holding a gerber daisy looking off camera. that's a real gun with a real clip in it, and my real anger that hasn't cooled even after "dealing with it" an assault is like a death. You may learn to accept that it happened, but it will change your life and you won't ever "get over it." I put the song Veteran on adoptaband fearing some of what feedback I might get.

And yes, I got some nasty stuff. But those who say that it hit a nerve that helped them get to a better place, it's for those people that I take what I do out of my studio and out in the world.

it's for those girls, and boys that i talk about this.

because i am with you. i may not have walked in your shoes, but i have walked before you, behind you, or beside you.

and LJ user AGITATED made some really wonderful points in a diaryland post that I never even was supposed to read but she sent to me. So I thank her for that, and I thank anyone who has ever been through anything for their strength, and their bravery.

It *will* be okay someday.
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New Flavor   
12:26am 29/05/2003
mood: tired
Singer/Songwriter KIM FOX


is this month's flavor.


Also, tomorrrow 29 May I'll be playing in Akron at the Lime Spider http://www.thelimespider.com with the voodoo organist

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well i'll be damned   
02:38pm 27/05/2003
  A friend sent me this. Heh. I'm cheaper than beer, apparently. And to think you don't even get the bonus tracks.


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Eve Rewrite   
09:02am 21/05/2003
  I read once, I think in the same issue of Rolling Stone on an airplane that Drew Barrymore was talking about naming a baby Ruby Daffodil, that Dave Pirner of Soul Asylum always carried a set of his lyrics with him and always had a friend in Minnesota who kept them in a fridge or some other fireproof thing, copies of them.

Well, I am not Dave Pirner, and after almost a year of searching for the lyrics to the organ lusty song EVE i have decided to rewrite it based on what I remember and in 20/20 clarity what I really meant to say. Maybe I'll play it at the show on the 29th at the lime spider. I'm not sure. But I just thought I'd update here.

Those reading, I love you. Thanks for supporting me.
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